Oral Sex

Pleasuring each other by using your mouth

Fellatio and Cunnilingus, also known as blowjobs and pussy eating. There's a lot of myths surrounding both. For example, it's not really sex. This is untrue, they are sexual acts! That you cannot spread or catch a sexually transmitted disease by doing them is wrong also. Sexually transmitted diseases can be transmitted, including HPV, HIV, Syphilis and Gonorrhea. Another myth is that everyone likes or dislikes performing or receiving oral based pleasure. Not everyone does, whether it has to do with past experiences or with personal body issues or maybe they were taught that it is wrong.

Thankfully, over the past years oral sex has lost a lot of its taboo status and has become part of the regular sexual repertoire of many sexually active people, as either part of foreplay or the means to the orgasm itself.

Physically challenged individuals may use oral stimulation as the primary way of receiving or giving sexual pleasure. Oral sex maybe used as a method of birth control or as a hint of the pleasures to come. The mouth and the tongue are incredible sexual tools that can be used to stimulate your partner.

Although there are definite differences in pleasuring a man or a woman orally, some things are universal.

Learn about your and your partner's anatomy, each body is different, a women's outer genitalia, vulva, labia, clitoris and clitoral hood all come into play during oral play. For a man the head of the penis, while being the most sensitive area, is not the only place to pay attention to, the shaft, testes and perineum are all places for your mouth and tongue to explore.

Personal hygiene is very important, keeping yourself clean for your partner is not only considerate but will remove any personal issues you may have with the smells down there. Avoid strong smelling soaps and body washes that can also leave a lingering taste. Make sure to clean in all the little crevices that body fluids can collect in. Pubic hair can also be an issue for some folks and with the adult movie industry showing almost completely hairless women and men for the past decade or so, you may feel that you are too hairy. If you want to trim, shave or get a Brazilian wax, do it because you want to, not because you think it is a prerequisite for oral sex.

If your partner says that the way you taste is a bit strong, there is strong anecdotal evidence that avoiding foods like asparagus, broccoli and garlic and eating a lot of foods such as celery and pineapple and other sweet fruits can improve the taste of both semen and vaginal fluids. Certain medications and supplements can also change the way you taste.

Your hands are also a part of oral sex. They can be used to stimulate other body parts, as anchors and so on. Make they're also clean and without ragged or sharp nails to catch on your partners delicate areas.

Be willing to accept and incorporate direction from the receiver of your oral manipulations and be willing to ask for feedback during and after the oral session.

Do not pressure your partner to do anything that is uncomfortable for them. Be available to reciprocate. It certainly isn't fair to expect oral pleasure from your partner and refuse to pleasure your partner in the same way. Never compare your partner to other lovers you have had.

Make sure there's plenty of lubrication available. You may end up with enough salvia to keep things nice and slippery, but to start off a bit of lube or flavored lubricant can be a pleasant addition for both of you. If you are using a commercial lubricant that has a sweetener in it or you have grabbed the whipped cream or other yummy edible out of the kitchen and you have an issue with yeast infections make sure to clean up thoroughly as the sugars can mess with the PH balance of your body. This goes for both men and women.

Start slowly, for some men and women just attacking the head of the penis or sucking directly on the clitoris isn't fun, it's painful. Work your way down the body exploring the tummy and thighs and buttocks if you wish.

Experiment with different strokes and pressures, some women may want to have fingers, a vibrator or dildo inserted into the vagina or anus. Some men find it highly erotic to add anal stimulation with either fingers or toys with massage around the anus or penetration with fingers or toys. If you involve anal stimulation during cunnilingus do not insert any fingers or toys into the vagina that have been in the anus.

Make sure both of you are in a comfortable position. Oral sex can strain both the neck and jaw muscles of both sexes. Use pillows to prop yourself and your partner in ways that work for you. Change positions if something starts to become uncomfortable. Having the recipient lie on their back with a pillow placed under their hips and their legs drawn up with knees out, place your arms around her legs or under her buttocks for better cunnilingus access. For fellatio, kneeling at your partners side or between the legs while he is lying on his back gives you more control.

Kneeling on the floor with your partner standing or sitting gives you plenty of access to his testes and anus. If kneeling, place a pillow under your knees so you are more comfortable. Or you could have them position themselves at the edge of the bed and you could kneel on the floor. This works for both sexes.

The 69 position, while being famous, is for most folks difficult to do. It's hard to concentrate on your partner while they are trying to pleasure you. Don't feel as if you're doing it wrong if this position just isn't your favorite.

Deep throating, while this may still be a popular movie franchise it is not a fellatio must. If your partner or you are both curious about it, by all means give it a try. But you will find that the natural gag reflex we all have gets in the way. The shaft of the penis is much less sensitive then the head of the penis, so spending more time there will be more pleasurable for both of you. Wrapping your hands around the shaft of the penis while using your tongue and mouth on the head will simulate deep throating. There are desensitizing gels made to help with the deep throat technique if you're curious and want to try it.

Safe oral sex. Using a condom or a dental dam during oral sex will help protect you from sexually transmitted diseases.

Finally, talk to your partner about what feels good to you and what does not and ask them to talk to you about the same.

Terms in this section:

Clitoral Hood: this is the small bit of tissue covering the clitoris. It can be gently pushed aside for direct oral contact but for many women, but not all, this can be too intense. Stimulating the clitoris on the side or near it may be all that is needed for your partner.

Perineum:this is the area between the scrotum and the anal opening in men and the vaginal opening and anus in women.

Brazilian Wax: removal of all pubic and anal body hair by means of waxing. Many local salons offer this for women and is offered for men less frequently.