Sex and Pregnancy
Sex during and after pregnancy
After reading several books, searching the web and talking to pregnant women, there are a few things that seem to come up over and over. First of all: talk to your doctor and don't be embarrassed about it.
For Pete's sake, you obviously have had sex or tried to have sex and went with in vitro fertilization to produce the pregnancy. If your medical professional says its okay - go for it. There are situations under which you should avoid sex, like placenta previa, a condition in which the placenta covers the cervical opening, or if you have a history of pre-term labor or if you have unexplained vaginal bleeding for example. If the amniotic sac has broken or the mucous plug has been dislodged you should also avoid intercourse.
Some worry that the prostaglandin in semen can bring on pre-term labor, but that only works if the cervix is ready, many couples that are near the due date will have a lot of sex hoping to bring on labor. Once again, please talk to your doctor about any concerns.
You may want and need to change styles and positions as the pregnancy progresses so that sex is more comfortable. Talking about what might work or going thru a dry run or rehearsal, if want to think of it that way, can be a wonderfully intimate experience. Lying flat on your back or "the missionary position" becomes less and less comfortable as the pregnancy progresses. Shifting onto the hands and knees takes pressure off the back and breasts and allows for manual stimulation of the clitoris and the nipples.
You're not going to bonk the baby on the head or any other part. The amniotic sac protects the baby and a mucous plug blocks the cervix. An orgasm will not harm the baby or cause pre-term labor.
During and after the pregnancy there are body image issues for both partners. Mom may feel beautiful and glowing or fat and bloated. Mood swings are not uncommon and her libido can also increase or diminish.
Dad's can become overly attentive or become distant if they feel left out of the process. Again, communication is one of the most important aspects of a relationship at this time, check in with each other and talk about what's going on physically and emotionally.
When to have sex after the birth of your child:
Both of you are exhausted, Mom's body needs to heal longer if there was tearing or if it was a C-section, so talk with your physician, but most will recommend 4- 6weeks. Be gentle with each other. You've undergone a huge change in your lives. Make sure you have birth control planned unless you want another child within the year! You can get pregnant, even if the mother is nursing! Please check with your physician for other forms of intimacy. Postpartum depression and/or a hormone imbalance can also affect a woman's libido. Please talk with your doctor about these issues. For some men the birth of their child can change the way they look at their partner instead of the sexy, sensuous women they only see a mother and have issues feeling amorous towards her. Again, talk to your doctor so they can help steer you to the appropriate professionals.
Your own doctor is the best source of information on sex during your pregnancy. If you are looking for more information many web sites that cater to health and parenting all have sections on sex and pregnancy.
You don't stop being a sexual human being because you or your partner is pregnant, sex is still an important part of your life together and although the timing and actual acts may change the emotional and physical needs do not.